Have You Ever Wondered?

You guys must have heard of this one before.

My story starts tens of thousands of years ago - tiny little droplets of water fall from the sky (some like to call it rain) and unwittingly fall on the ground. Slowly - very slowly in fact, over thousands of years - these droplets of water snake their way lower and lower into the earth. Their journey only gets harder as they get deeper - the rocks and dust that make up the earth get finer and finer the deeper you go into the ground. These rocks and dust of course make up a perfect filtration system - heavier, larger rocks on top, and finer pebbles and dust below. So, along the way, these water droplets leave behind dirty, unwanted crap on the rocks, while picking up ‘good’ minerals from the rocks themselves. Finally, as these water droplets reach the end of their journey, they deposit themselves into an underground reservoir and say hello again to their long lost droplet family and friends.

Forward to the present - some idiot engineer working for some capitalist pig digs a hole in the ground, pumps up the water and puts them into a bottle. A label with a French title is put on the bottle, and then it is sold to the unsuspecting public - with the instructions to drink within two years.

So, these poor water droplets take tens of thousands of years to purify, and have probably spent additional tens of thousands of years just relaxing and having a good time with their friends and family in the underground reservoir, but once put into a bottle its lifespan is essentially reduced to only two years? Hmm… somehow that doesn’t make sense to me.

By turning the dial of course.

Yes, but which way? My freezer has a dial numbered 1 to 10. Do I turn it towards 10, or towards 1?